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Thursday, January 18, 2007

Brian Forsythe



Not every band can say it's "kid tested and mother approved", but Kix would be the exception. The enigmatic name of this thrash metal five-some has been rumored to be somehow related to it's members favorite way to cure the munchies. And even though the fad of naming your band after America's favorite puffed corn based cereal treat rose and fell with this one band, I can't help but ask myself...."Hey stallion (that's what I call myself is stallion), would the band Kix have ever survived the varitable mosh pit of 80's metal bands without the guitarical ass-kickery of Brian Forsythe"? Although no one can say for sure, I can say for sure the answer is no. From the moment this plucky group entered the studio to record it's self titled first album, it was clear that the river of hash metal was going to flow through Forsythe like some sort of river. The debut album featured several monster hits such as "Heartache", "The Itch" and "Poison" which is rumored to have been the inspiration for some other band's name, I don't know who. In 1986 the band was rocked to it's very core when Forsythe was involved in an ordeal that very nearly cost this up and coming guitarist everything. While walking to the bands bus after playing a wicked session in a bar in Shreveport LA, an unidentified individual was heard to yell "You suck Forsythe". The scene was instant pandemonium. Enraged fans began looking for the culprit while roadies escorted an emotionally devastated Forsythe onto the bus. The criticism had cut Brian to the quick. His emotions were out of controll as he would swing from starving himself for hours at a time, to binging on the then popular "Domino's" pizza, thus avoiding the Noid. "This went on for what seemed like hours" quoted fellow band member "the lead singer from Kix". But Forsythe was about to receive some advice that would change his life. While waiting in line for the restroom at a Chevron, Brian struck up a conversation with a Hindu Raja named Steve. Forsyth begged the advice when the 17 year old Kentuckian simply replied "I don't think you suck". "It was like a weight had been lifted from my very soul" Forsyth would later describe in his auto-biography "Forsythe is 20/20". Now armed with the chain-mail of not thinking he sucked Brian would never be wounded by this type of criticism again.

So where is he now? Brian's Bio places him with a new band named Rhino Bucket. ORotW has yet to determine if the name reffers to a Bucket full of Rhino, or a Bucket made of Rhino. In addition to this, Brian also finds time to attend school to become a vetrinary assistant. As if this weren't enough Forsyth still devotes at least 2 hours daily to cold calling the Schreveport area and looking for his "White Whale". "My soul can't truly rest until I have a chance to tell that punk you know what man....maybe you suck"

Brought to you by Ben Thomas and the Flying V.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would have liked to know you when you were just a pig.

Your doobie burned out long before your legend ever did.

Anonymous said...

Rubbish!