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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Sensei George Lynch's Dojo

In the 70's George Lynch had become a product of Jimi Hendrix and Jeff Beck and was already beginning to reach for the outer limits of his guitar playing oblivion. Though guitar gunslinging was led by Edward Van Halen and Randy Rhoads, Lynch was never in their shadow, as the years would somewhat prove. As one of the most popular guitarists to emerge from '80s-era heavy metal, Lynch came with an arsenal of snazzy-looking guitars and speedy solos, (not to mention a wicked wardrobe). Lynch also helped propel Dokken toward the top of the charts for a spell (one week). After a bloody fallout with Dokken, George lead the one hit Lynch Mob to stardom with Wicked Sensation. Later in his career he made the brilliant move to go solo and quickly decided to open his Guitar Dojo, becoming a Sensei to millions. George has been quoted saying that guitar playing in his Dojo is a two time sport. Let's find out more...

The ORotW welcomes a very special guest inside the studio/library today, Sensei George Lynch.

ORotW: George, thanks for coming out today. What can you tell us about the guitar Dojo you've just opened?
GL: This is a place where students come and learn to be one with their guitars.
ORotW: Uhh, ok. What was the most embarrasing thing that ever happened to you onstage?
GL: The crotch ripping out of my pants while wearing no underwear in front of 18,000 people, or was it 200?, and my tech trying to fix it with a piece of duct tape while I was still playing.
ORotW: George, you're a badass. What was your first concert?
GL: Battle of the Bands at South Gate Park Rec Hall, South Gate California, sometime around 1970 or 73.
ORotW: What is the best guitar advice ever given to you?
GL: Play less, say more. Express your emotions. Music is a language of the heart, soul and mind, that is in many ways purer, and more direct than the written or spoken word.
ORotW: Great advice. How about the worst guitar advice ever given to you?
GL: Shred, dude. Just shred it and they will come. In the Dojo that is the first thing we teach against.
ORotW: (laugh) What do you think was the greatest invention for guitars?
GL: Strings, they make it easy to hold my cig.
ORotW: What music do you have on your iPod right now?
GL: Die Krupps, the new Limp Bizkit and Celine.
ORotW: If you weren't doing this interview, what would you be doing right now?
GL: Fixing my drip system, recording on my computer studio, or making babies with my beautiful, exotic 26 year old wife.
ORotW: George, it's always a pleasure. Please come by and visit ORotW again.
GL: I will but you guys are making this into a place to come and die. I wanna rock forever.
ORotW: WORD!

This interview brought to you by Ben Thomas and the Flying V.

Welcome to Ragsdale, population Rock your Face OFF!


Lets face it, any schmo can pick up an axe and learn to plink out a tune in between bong hits. And wicked vocals, please... they're 2 nickles per 12. To truly transcend a genre, you need to ride that eagle higher and farther than anyone else would ever dream of. And thinking outside the box, well brother that's just icing on the cake! So when this weeks OrTW God of Rock, David Ragsdale, looked at a violin and saw more than just a way to put old people to sleep, the evolutionary fish of Hard Core rock sprouted legs and walked out of the ocean. Did Kansas know when they drafted this Itz-ROCK Perlman, that they had just lit the fuse on the rocket that would carry them into the metal gods stratosphere??? Who the hell knows... and who the hell cares? Hard rock violin. The very concept taxes the resin encrusted mind of any metal head. What's next? White rappers? Black golf pro's? Country/Hip Hop fusion? At any rate, we here at ORTW lift our Keystone filled bongs to the man who turned 15 years of violin lesson lemons, into that thrash violin lemonade we barely remember!

So, where is he now. Bio information on David's website clearly places him in the continued cahoots of his fellow Kansan homies. However, it may also intrigue you to know that sources at Taco Bueno have uncovered an application for promotion to "shift manager" from one "David Rockolinsas" The OrTW super computer (the computer at our local libraray, where my couterpart Ben Thomas gets his email) has labeled this as a "highly likely" alias for Ragsdale. An official scouting mission to Taco Bueno was unsuccessful when Ben and I tried to demand speaking to the manager for unsatisfactory sour cream distribution on our "Nachos Muchachos" It turns out they don't include sour cream.

Brought to you by Ben Thomas and the Flying V.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

The "Dean" of American Badass'

Britny Fox came roaring into the music scene riding the tails of the late 80's L.A. glam explosion and was one of the many, many poor man's Aerosmith's of the corporate hairband/glam rock era in the purest sense. However they fell from glory almost as fast as they came. Band founder "Dizzy" Dean Davidson hooked up with ex-Cinderella guitarist Michael Kelly Smith in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania during the summer of 1985. With the addition of ex-Cinderella drummer Tony "Stix" Destra and local bassist Billy Childs, the band Britny Fox was complete. They named themselves Britny Fox after one of Davidson's Welsh ancestors. Their debut would go on to sell a million copies, backed by scorching singles such as "Girlschool" and "Long Way To Love." Boys In Heat only managed half the sales of the debut and Dizzy Dean decided to leave and form the band Blackeyed Susan.

One of the few 80's glam heroes NOT to reunite it the late 90's, Davidson has said he has no plans to bring the Fox back, comparing the band to "an old girlfriend." This is an American Badass that deserved to have a much longer career, but left at least one great album none the less.

We miss you Jerod "Dizzy Dean" Davidson, please bring the Fox back, we beg you! And don't forget your flying V.

So where is he now?: Unconfirmed sources state that "The Dean of Sleaze" was working as
an environmental canvasser who turned up in the local paper's "Crimewatch" column-and turned himself in for the reward money.

Brought to you by Ben Thomas and the Flying V.

Thursday, December 7, 2006

Fly High Chip Z'Nuff

Welcome to the Obscure Rocker of the Week blog. My goal is to provide pointless information, about those die hard rockers we never knew. Check back periodically for what will certainly be the most pointless part of your day.

This week the spotlight falls on bassist and singer Chip Z'Nuff from the band Enuff Z'Nuff. You may remember their music featuring a fusion of soulful heavy metal, and tons of rainbows (you may notice Chip named rainbows as his favorite food on his bio). Chip was the driving force behind the formation of the band in 1984, and remained the bands face and champion until they faded into obscurity also in 1984. Their hit song "Fly High Michelle" topping out at a scandalous #47 on the Billborad Music Charts. With an 11 album catalog, the 2002 surprise breakup brought a sudden and painful end to this legacy bands dozen(s) of die hard fans. Chip Z'Nuff, with hoisted lighters.....we salute you!

So where is he now?: Fans of the ORtW have reported seeing various merchandise for sale under the "Miscelaneous" column in a Sacramento free newspaper. The ad read "Makita circular saw, 40 gal. freshwater fish tank (cracked), used Nintendo NES with Zelda and Mike Tysons Punch Out...all $40, CASH NEEDED BADLY, but interesting trades will be considered. For info call Chip'Z at 555-****" To date ORtW's call has yet to be returned.

Brought to you by Ben Thomas and the Flying V.