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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Welcome to Ragsdale, population Rock your Face OFF!


Lets face it, any schmo can pick up an axe and learn to plink out a tune in between bong hits. And wicked vocals, please... they're 2 nickles per 12. To truly transcend a genre, you need to ride that eagle higher and farther than anyone else would ever dream of. And thinking outside the box, well brother that's just icing on the cake! So when this weeks OrTW God of Rock, David Ragsdale, looked at a violin and saw more than just a way to put old people to sleep, the evolutionary fish of Hard Core rock sprouted legs and walked out of the ocean. Did Kansas know when they drafted this Itz-ROCK Perlman, that they had just lit the fuse on the rocket that would carry them into the metal gods stratosphere??? Who the hell knows... and who the hell cares? Hard rock violin. The very concept taxes the resin encrusted mind of any metal head. What's next? White rappers? Black golf pro's? Country/Hip Hop fusion? At any rate, we here at ORTW lift our Keystone filled bongs to the man who turned 15 years of violin lesson lemons, into that thrash violin lemonade we barely remember!

So, where is he now. Bio information on David's website clearly places him in the continued cahoots of his fellow Kansan homies. However, it may also intrigue you to know that sources at Taco Bueno have uncovered an application for promotion to "shift manager" from one "David Rockolinsas" The OrTW super computer (the computer at our local libraray, where my couterpart Ben Thomas gets his email) has labeled this as a "highly likely" alias for Ragsdale. An official scouting mission to Taco Bueno was unsuccessful when Ben and I tried to demand speaking to the manager for unsatisfactory sour cream distribution on our "Nachos Muchachos" It turns out they don't include sour cream.

Brought to you by Ben Thomas and the Flying V.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Can I say that I am finally glad that the state of my birth is getting some due. Kansas the namesake of Kansas, the home of Dwight Eisenhower. It brought a tear to my eye to read this blog. I imagine a John Denver blog would stir the same emotion in a West Virginian, or possibly a North Hollywooder hearing that timeless classic, "Hotel California."

"Kansas - As Big As You Think"

John "Downtown" Brown

Anonymous said...

someone posted this on a message board. Population of Rock your face off, that is hilarious, gotta send this to everyone I know.

Anonymous said...

I was google searching my name to see what I could find and this popped up. That is too funny, I think I might have my webmaster put a link up on my site.

http://www.street-and-ragsdale.com/lawyer/dallas_lawyer_d_ragsdale.html

David Ragsdale
Dallas, TX

Justin said...

Have you ever seen a happier face coupled with a violin? Hate to see what he looks like while playing at funerals...

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